If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her... Which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak.
More Quotes with stand-up
I think what Bob Schneider is about to do at Newport Catholic is a remarkable accomplishment. He's going to have more wins than anybody in the state. Here's a man who's given most of his life to high school football, and has committed himself to building young men of character, and he's been incredibly successful with his teams while doing it. I mean, 289 wins is 276 more than I have. That's a true testimony to how good a coach he's been all these years.